Sunday, January 06, 2008

Top Ten Reasons not to drink too much beer and cut your own hair.

10. You don't have the right tools, so stop it.

9. Even if you do have the right tools, it takes way too long.

8. You'll get cut hair all over the f$#@in' place.

7. Even if you get in the shower, completely naked, the hair just, well, gets all over the F%$#in' place.

6. You won't vacuum afterward, no matter how many times you tell yourself you will.

5. You can't do the back right, so you end up with a mullet no matter how hard you try.

4. You could have spent the 12 bucks you saved on beer and/or brown liquor. You're going to have to spend it in two days on a decent haircut, you idiot.

3. A barber knows what he's doing, so you don't end up having two haircuts.

2. That beard trimmer you're going to use doesn't have enough power. Even if the TV commercial says it does, it doesn't. It really doesn't.

1. There is not enough hot water in your hot water heater to wash off the shame of telling your friends/officemates "I got drunk and cut my own hair."