Thursday, September 27, 2007

People hate lawyers

Because of crap like this. Restaurant owner takes a picture of Chelsea Clinton and him, and gets threatened by Bill Clinton's "legal advisor" with some sort of action unless he takes the photo down. Screw Bill and his advisor.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Your band sucks.

The Hall of Douchebags. My favorite? "The ubiquitous brick wall mocks my cold despair”. Just click one and start truckin' on through.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

After 36 beers, man beaten with tire iron

Now that's a headline. That's some hard drinking, let me tell you. I can drink my share of beer, but 36 seems like overkill. And then to get beaten with a tire iron by two women, well, gracious.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Yale senior, in her own words

Good lord. I wonder why she doesn't have friends.
I have made relatively few friends at Yale. Why? Well, that’s the question I would ask myself whenever I feel like a wallflower. Someone once said to me: “Teresa, you are always looking for people to impress you. You want them to say things that you have not heard before, and when they don’t, you are disappointed and annoyed.”

Forget about the impressing part. I am not looking for people to speak about things that I do not understand, but I am very particular about the quality of conversations that I have with others. Different people are particular about different things. My personality happened to make me like what the majority at Yale is not too passionate about and hate what the majority finds acceptable.

I am a rebel because I reject your proletarian views on things! And your speech patterns, which are inefficient and annoying! I hate what you talk about because it is what someone else talks about!

Look, I went to Yale, and if you have a hard time finding good conversation, it's your problem, not the "majority's". That is one of the most stimulating intellectual and social environments you could ever find -- if you don't take advantage of it, well, that's your choice, but it's not a wise one.

9/11 conspiracy theories: Bullshit!



Watch the whole thing. Via Flopping Aces.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Friday, September 07, 2007

Mix tape strategery

So, I've been downloading and listening to lots of really good music lately, and I intend to make a kick-ass mix tape (well, CD) tonight. Here's what I have always thought -- a good mix tape starts off really strong, with loud and raucous rock. It then calms down in the middle, and at the trough (about 15 songs in), has one really depressing alcohol-soaked song (like "Drink 'till we're gone" by Lucero), and then picks back up for a couple, and then ends on a slow, melodic tune, that captures the mood of what you are trying to accomplish. Of course, those guidelines merely represent tactics, and not an overall strategy. The real question is "what am I trying to get out of this mix?" If you are looking to impress a girl (or boy), you need to execute on that strategy by employing the appropriate tactics -- songs that say how you feel about the other person, yourself, or whatever. If you want a road trip mix for you and your buddies, you definitely need some Motley Crue up in there.

Here's an article about the lost art of actually making a mix tape on a cassette, which was the way I did things -- old school. It's worth a read.
Compiling a mix tape is also, of course, a labour of love, an act of dogged devotion. You can see why Nick Hornby used the mix tape in High Fidelity as a signifier of love and devotion. If my memory serves, his male protagonist, a romantic loser, wins his long-suffering girlfriend back by compiling her a tape of songs by romantic losers about romantic losers. On some Freudian level, the compilation tape says more about the compiler than the object of his or her devotion.

'It takes time and effort to put a mix tape together,' writes Dean Wareham, leader of the short-lived, but quietly influential, art-rock group, Galaxie 500, in a book called Mix Tape: The Art of Cassette Culture, which was edited by Thurston Moore of Sonic Youth. 'The time spent implies an emotional connection with the recipient. It might be a desire to go to bed, or to share ideas. The message of the tape might be: "I love you. I think about you all the time, listen to how I feel about you." Or maybe: "I love me. I am a tasteful person who listens to tasty things. This tape tells you all about me." There is something narcissistic about making someone a tape, and the act of giving the tape put the recipient in our debt somehow. Like all gifts, the mix tape comes with strings attached.'

A mix tape is, for lack of a better way to put it, the best gettin' to know you chit-chat you could ever come up with.

However, if you believe that the best live show you ever saw was Justin Timberlake, keep your f@#!in' music to yourself. The mix tape has to have obscure, unheard of greatness to it, and "Sexyback" will never, ever make the cut. Ever. It will make the recipient of the mix tape say "This is teh Suck," and, by extension, that you suck and aren't worth any more time. As you can tell, it is important to execute on your strategy by using your wits and cunning, and leaving that shitty pop music behind. Sound off like you've got a pair!

Seems to me the key to making a proper mix tape (even if you're cheating with iTunes and burning CDs like I will be) is putting songs on there that you don't hear all that much. If you are making it for someone else, then find a whole bunch of songs you think the other person has never heard, and perhaps will find unlistenable, but that you love. Primus' "Tommy the Cat" being a prime example for me.

Anyhow, I will update this post after I compile the playlist, and we'll see where we get. I already know song # 1 is "Summer Babe" by Pavement. Please discuss in the comments, all 2 of my readers.

UPDATE: So here it is:

1. Summer Babe -- Pavement
2. Shut up and Get on the Plane--Drive by Truckers
3. Sweet little Thing--Lucero
4. We're not Alone--Dinosaur Jr.
5. Selzer--Bluto
6. Two Doors Down--Dwight Yoakam (acoustic)
7. I Want you So Hard--Eagles of Death Metal
8. Give you my Car--Flys
9. The Ballad of the Gravel Pit--Gravel Pit
10. 1979--Lucero
11. Sunday Morning Comin' Down--Johnny Cash
12. Paper Thin Walls--Modest Mouse
13. Tommy the Cat--Primus
14. I'll Just Fall--Lucero
15. Sugar Kane--Sonic Youth
16. C'mon C'mon--Von Bondies
17. Goddamn Lonely Love--Drive by Truckers
18. Pueblo--Pavement

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Teh Fred is in the race . . .

Fred Thompson announces, formally, on Jay Leno (?!?), that he is running for President. Perhaps this will give a lift to an otherwise completely disappointing presidential campaign from both parties. I doubt it, though. I still favor the SOB over the actor, but we'll have to see. Everyone else is just so, well, f!#$in' boring, and, on the democratic side, well, they're all just insufferable whores.

Etymology of "teh," here.

UPDATE: This is old, but I like it. From IMAO.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Modern Drunkard -- the best web 'zine in the whole world



The 86 rules of boozing.

My favorite?

"47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter."

Runner up?

"35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it."

Discuss.

Yet more freedom for me, but not for thee

Via Instapundit (link on blogroll), we find yet another instance of our social betters telling us what not to do while going right on doing the bad stuff they say we shouldn't do.
You can't make this stuff up, folks. Last week, during a speech to a labor group in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told the crowd: "One of the things [Americans] should be asked to do is drive more fuel-efficient vehicles." Asked if by saying that he was specifically telling Americans to give up their SUVs, Edwards replied, "Yes."

It's a wonder we Americans haven't choked to death on all the hypocrisy we've been force-fed of late. Naturally, Edwards owns and drives an SUV himself -- several, in fact. In Washington D.C. he often pilots his Cadillac SRX, while at his North Carolina spread -- a 28,000-square-foot manse more than ten times the size of the average American home -- one can easily spot several more those-aren't-Priuses (click to enlarge accompanying photo). Asked at the labor-group speech how he can reconcile asking other Americans to sacrifice while he's living so large, Edwards replied: "I have no apologies whatsoever for what I've done with my life. My entire life has been about the same cause, which is making sure wherever you come from, whatever your family is, whatever the color of your skin, you get a real chance to do something great in this country."

Translation: "I get to do something I call great (make millions off class-action lawsuits, buy a leviathan house and big cars for my family, and pamper my hair), but your 'real chance' ends with buying a transportation device that I've decided may affect the future of my precious spawn."