Monday, December 31, 2007

Tannerball's 10 predictions for 2008

1. I will drink bourbon, and enjoy it greatly.

2. I will be hungover on January 1, 2008.

3. Hillary Clinton's eyeballs will pop out of her head at some point, and she will blame it on the "vast right-wing conspiracy" [i.e. anyone that asks her a question she doesn't like] that hounds her all the time.

4. We will all reduce our carbon footprint, whether necessary or not, because (a) technology will help us do so, and (b) it's for TEH CHILDREN!

5. At some point, someone running for president will get elected, and will eventually do a crappy job of it.

6. Roving bands of crazed monkeys will take over a city in India or Bangledesh.

7. Something big somewhere will blow up and kill people.

8. By election day, 2008, most all of us will be so sick of politicians that we either won't vote or we'll write in "Crazy Monkey" for President.

9. Some poor movie star will get a divorce and/or adopt an African child.

10. That the following will be true all year, thereby solidifying Dean Martin's place in history: “I'd hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that's as good as you're going to feel all day.”

If you've got predictions, lay 'em on me. 2008 has got to be better than 2007, even if only for a minute.