Tuesday, November 20, 2007

The brownest of the brown-food holidays.

Thanksgiving is almost here, so it's important for the thousands of workers here at Tannerball to make certain all (two) of our readers have some idea what the holiday is about, and why it is the best four-day weekend of the year.

Way back when, settlers were having a hard time of things over here in the new world. Turns out the first Thanksgiving feast was in Virginia, despite what they teach us in school. Those settlers had a big old feast to celebrate the end of the harvest, and everyone was happy because, unlike Christmas, they didn't have to give the drunk uncle any presents.

Now, this tradition continued for some time, and George Washington recommended that the fourth Thursday in November be a day of national Thanksgiving. However, it wasn't until Abe Lincoln was president that Thanksgiving became a national holiday. Good for him, I say, because nothing says "America!" like Thanksgiving. Except maybe for July 4th. Or SuperBowl Sunday. Whatever. Neither of those are 4-day weekends, complete with Turkey and Gravy.

Thanksgiving has been a favorite of we folks here at Tannerball for a long time, and for good reason. First, you get to eat and drink however much you want--and cooking up a giant bird is fun, whether the Tannermom thinks so or not. So is drinking before noon. Second, you don't have to buy anybody any presents, other than more food or drink. Third, there's good football to watch. Fourth, you get a day off to collect yourself before the Georgia/Georgia Tech game. Fifth, the Saturday after Thanksgiving has great college football, and you can again eat and drink as much as you like (see the Tannerball videos from last year). Sixth, you can spend all Sunday watching more football and recovering from the punishment you gave yourself.

Now, there are those of you out there who think it's a good idea to go shopping at Wal-Mart or some mall on Friday. I think you're crazy -- you've got plenty of time for that before Christmas. Why go to the mall at 5 AM to race a bunch of crazed lunatic shoppers wearing Christmas sweaters? It's not even December yet, you maniacs!

My advice is this -- remember what Thanksgiving is about. It's about being thankful for the bounty that we enjoy here, and remembering those less fortunate than we. And gravy. Actually, it's all about the gravy. Screw that other sentimental crap.

UPDATE: If you're travelling for Thanksgiving, watch this.