Tuesday, October 31, 2006

John Kerry --

He's a toad.

UPDATE: Apologizing seems out of the question for Mr. Kerry, who now claims it was a "botched joke." That's rich. Via Drudge. I like Ace's analysis:
If we don't join the military, we're fat ("doughy" like Rush Limbaugh) cowardly chickenhawk nutjobs.

If we do join it, we're just drooling morons.
Scroll all over the HQ--he's got plenty on this. And the guy getting tackled at the George Allen rally up the street from my office!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Turkmenistan update!!


Man, is this ever a day for flogging the dead horses of past Tannerball posts. Check out the latest from Turkmen President Saparmurat Niyazov, also known as the "Father of Turkmen":
Five new theaters have opened in Turkmenistan featuring plays based on poetry by Turkmen President Saparmurat Niyazov, who is surrounded by a lavish personality cult.

"All of our country's theater crews chose to debut with plays based on immortal works of the great Saparmurat Turkmenbashi, which bear a great spiritual energy and open wide horizons for creativity," a culture ministry official said on condition of anonymity. . .

Niyazov also banned opera and ballet as "unfitting for national mentality."

The Real News is back!

Recalling a Tannerball theme from the past, THERE'S A FINGER IN MY SUBWAY SANDWICH!!!
"It looked like a thick piece of fat," she told The Fresno Bee. "It doesn't look anything human to me."

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left . . . er. . . been shot by the cops three times and taken into custody.


A big Charlottesville drama ends with Elvis getting shot. The years haven't been kind to the King, have they. Cool multimedia presentation.

UPDATE: Elvis is expected to survive the shooting.

UPDATED UPDATE: Check out the comments over at CvilleNews--some folks that know Elvis are concerned that the police used excessive and unnecessary (redundant?) force in apprehending him. No report from the State Patrol yet. I'm sure Waldo will keep us informed.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

A Stronger America. Or Some Shit Like That. Tough. Smart.

Check them all out.

The growing Republican homo menace

Wise words from Howard Dean.
And now our investigators have learned that Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig is less interested in Boise than he is in "boy-sies." Now that his sickening secret is out, the good conservative folks of Idaho can send this pansy packing to San Francisco where he can be Potato Queen in the the next pride parade.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Holy crap

Watch this video. Billy Joel gets it from Rick James!

Attempted carjack/robbery on Court Square

My office is on Court Square in Charlottesville, right across Jefferson St. from the Albemarle County Courthouse. This morning, around 11 AM, I was in my law partner's office right above our front door, and I heard this strange shrieking, and tires barking. Then we heard someone shouting "Run run!" or "go! go!". I looked out the window in time to see a silver SUV peeling away down Jefferson St. toward McGuffey, and I saw a white dude wearing a bomber-type jacket with some colorful design on the back and blue jeans run off down Jefferson.

I ran downstairs and called 911, and was getting reports from my paralegal, who had seen most of what happened. Then I went out and talked to some of the witnesses on the street. Here is what I gather happened:

The would-be carjacker/robber was loitering in the BB&T branch for a while, and the management made him leave. I think they thought he was casing the place. Once outside, he approached the victim (who was parked in front of the bank on Jefferson), and pulled a gun out and stuck it through he open driver's window. She put her car in reverse, and backed up about 1/2 a block, in front of my office. The dude still had the gun, and was yelling while she was screaming and trying to get away. She eventually got the car in drive, and took off. He chased after he for a second and ran off.

There was one witness who was turning the corner from Jefferson onto 4th, heading toward the mall. Apparently (and this is hearsay, and unconfirmed), she stopped when she saw the initial confrontation between Mr. Carjacker/robber and called 911, and was on the phone narrating the unfolding events to the police. She may very well have been the person shouting to the victim to get out of there -- anyhow, she was pretty friggin' brave, just sitting there while all this was happening right in front of her.

As of about 1:30 PM, the cops had not located Mr. Carjacker/robber, but I understand from one of them that they know who he is and where he ordinarily hangs out. I hope they catch him -- we live pretty close to where he's apparently running around.

Take all this with a grain of salt--I am reporting hearsay, and what little I know personally. No way could I identify the guy.

Good times here on Court Square.

UPDATE: Hello, Cvillenews readers! Thanks for the link, Waldo.

Dude's name is Elvis Shifflett. It appears I was wrong about the motivation -- I thought he was trying to rob her based upon what I heard, but it looks like he was an acquaintance. Either way, it was pretty exciting.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Say it again, brother

Amen to that:
It requires media hysteria to miss the point of what is offensive about House Republicans, and it’s not just their stupid e-mails. It’s their ability to take a “Contract with America,” morph it into an “entitlement for all Americans,” and produce a truly offensive amount of pork, cynicism, and cronyism, all in 12 short years. That’s why the “scandal” has legs. No wonder conservatives are furious at Republicans. But trying to get a sex scandal out of these dull e-mails is like trying to get John Boehner off a golf course. (And besides, the Europeans completely missed the much more entertaining story of Rep. Don Sherwood, the Pennsylvania Republican incumbent, who, according to the Washington Times, is running TV ads apologizing for cheating on his wife but denying he abused his mistress.) These guys are as good at sex as they are at meeting a budget. That there’s a Republican left in the House is a stunning indictment of Democrats and their thought-free party.
The real lesson in all of this Foley mess? Politicians of all stripes are ridiculous, smarmy, awful people.

How about some more cranky NRO?
Self-described progressives are great at whipping up a moral frenzy when it serves their purposes, and are hilariously indignant when Moral Majority types return fire in kind. Remember the national bout of St. Vitus’ dance over sexual harassment in the late 1980s and early 1990s? Liberals made sexual harassment their signature issue, rending their clothes and gnashing their teeth over Sens. John Tower and Bob Packwood and Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas, among others. The puritanical zeal of these inquisitions cannot be exaggerated.

And then came Bill Clinton, who was, by any fair measure, a worse womanizer than Thomas or the rest of them. The Paula Jones sexual harassment lawsuit led, inexorably, to revelations of alleged rape and scandalous behavior with an intern. Forced to choose between power and principle, liberals and feminists held an impromptu fire sale on principles.
Read them both, friends of Tannerball!