Friday, October 28, 2005

If you didn't do anything wrong. . .

don't talk to the feds. And if you do, don't let them think you are lying about what you know. Looks pretty thin to me. But then again, I always thought this was a tempest in a teapot.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Ick.

And I mean ick.
A taxi driver is on trial for allegedly tainting baked items at the grocery store by sprinkling dried feces on the food. Prosecutors have store surveillance videotapes of two alleged incidents in July.
Where does one get the dried feces?

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

New category=No shit

"Sometimes when people do drink they throw caution to the wind," he said. Crocodiles!!! Read the whole thing.

Open 24 hours--you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here (except that you can, and we will serve you beer while you wait)

Sorry dude, but you're wrong when you suggest
"Our psyche is not equipped to handle the 24-hour availability of alcohol," said Victor Robinson, addiction expert at the University of Ulster, the Londonderry-based institution which wrote the report.

"We are not a Mediterranean people, and have not been socialised into the respect for alcohol those cultures have," the lecturer said.
This is Ireland we're talking about--the Irish are more equipped for 24 hour bars than just about anybody else (except you can't smoke there). And this is a dismal way to view the drinking public:
Robinson said: "In my judgment, 24-hour availability of alcohol in Northern Ireland will mean the introduction of 24-hour bingeing, not a new age of temperance and moderation."

Fiction apparently wins, but . . .

the Gateway Pundit is trying to set the record straight on Hurricane Katrina. What is really happening? Why can't we just be honest when the issue becomes race because of the astonishing asshatery of the MSM and so-called "leaders"? I don't get it. Maybe I'm just stupid, but I think we ought to look at the truth before everyone assumes that whitey hates the black man.

Monday, October 17, 2005

More news from Turkmenistan!

Your friend and mine (see here, and here), the president for life of Turkmenistan, has written a new book.
"Dear Friends," is the latest collection of childhood memories and patriotic poetry by the "genius pen" of Niyazov, known as Turkmenbashi or "Leader of the Turkmen Peoples," the Neutral Turkmenistan daily reported Monday.

Some poems are about "the Motherland, its history, human kindness, honour, courage and love," while others are dedicated to Niyazov's late parents "whose names are sacred to the entire Turkmen people," the newspaper said.

The president-for-life of this ex-Soviet Central Asian state has built up a bizarre personality cult, including putting up gold statues of himself and his deceased parents in strategic spots across the desert country.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

How’s it hangin,’ homos? Same ol’ – same ol’ here in the Big Sandbox.

The Zarkman is back with another update from Al-Qaeda in Iraq.
But hey, Zarkman's a team player. So I'm out on the curb with everybody else late Friday, piling into the courtesy van headed to the Ramadi Inn conference center, and guess what? I have to sit next to that new French intern Ali the entire trip. Holy frickin’ Prophet, what a weasely little brown-noser. “Oh Monsieur Zarqawi, it is the great pleasure to be working for the jihad with you!” while I’m just trying to get some peace and quiet and work on my Times crossword. I swear I’d shitcan that little suckup tomorrow if the martyr recruiting market wasn’t so damn tight. About an hour into the trip we took a few rounds from the Iraqi collaborators, which thankfully shut him up, but then I had to deal with his shitstank the rest of the way.

Nothing to see here, move on please

Roger Simon gets it done, proper-like. Oil for food interest anyone?
It's not just about graft. It's about the preservation of fascism for money. You down with that, liberalists? Think about it in your hearts. This isn't about Democrats, Republicans, liberals, conservatives and all the rest of that left-over Eighteenth Century sports terminology. This is about real human beings who were living in a country where the dictator tossed people in paper shredders while his minions bought him protection on the UN Security Council. No thriller writer could get away with a plot like that, but Saddam Hussein did... with the help of his buddies Jacques Chirac and Kofi Annan.

I just can't wait for two minutes, so I shall stab thee!

For cryin' out loud.

Are those cockatoo eggs in your pants

or are you just happy to see me?
Customs officials said Keith Miller, 51, was arrested at Sydney airport in November last year trying to board a flight to Zurich with 23 eggs concealed in his underwear.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Read this

and be educated. Mr. Hanson has the scoop on the GWOT.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

The First Amendment is the best

because it lets us do stuff like this. Excellent.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Failure is our business and business is good.

So good, in fact, that the International Atomic Energy Agency has just received the Nobel Peace Prize. Some, however, don't think that's really appropriate, since the IAEA has stopped, well, no one from producing nuclear weapons. But that's okay, because they mean well.
"At a time when disarmament efforts appear deadlocked, when there is a danger that nuclear arms will spread both to states and to terrorist groups, and when nuclear power again appears to be playing an increasingly significant role, IAEA's work is of incalculable importance," the Committee said.

Incalculable importance to whom? Discuss amongst yourselves.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

The Miers application revealed!

So here's part of Harriett Miers' application to be a "female associate justice" on the Supreme Court:
In my capacity as female Chairperson of the Texas Lottery Commission, I also experienced many, many experiences and tough choices that will be relevant to being a female on the US Supreme Court. For example, in 1997 a woman from Tyler sued us for a share of the Texas Big Game jackpot because she forgot to buy her regular favorite combo ticket (11-17-22-26-41, Powerball 43), the week it came up a winner. At my trial testimony I explained to the judge, woman-to-woman, that Texas Lottery advertising precedent was clear: "If You Don't Play, You Can't Win!" My dramatic testimony led to a bench aquittal and earned me the prestigious "Annual Award of Excellence" from the Chairperson of the Texas Lottery.

Read the whole thing. It's funny.