Saturday, April 30, 2005

Fourteen maids of the bride? Good God in Heaven!

The Manolo, he captures the spirit of the thing. Run out on your wedding, claim you were kidnapped, and then admit you have the cold feet. This is a woman with too much riding on the wedding day, friends.

Foxfield races, here in the 'ville

Each spring and fall, there are horse races here in Albemarle County. The Foxfield Races have been around for a long time, and it is a big social event. For a little insight, see this poorly written article. Here's a tidbit:
One year I said, 'the only thing we haven't found is a toilet and a kitchen sink,' and then the next year we found a toilet and a kitchen sink," laughed Dick. [ed--"Dick" is a local lawyer, who organizes the race]

The Daytimer is running with the rescue squad today and tonight (the 24-hour shift), and tells me that the drunks are out in force, just a-drivin' and a-wreckin' something fierce. Updates when I get them. Ride the bus, people! Then you can drink as many mint juleps as you crave!

This is a crappy development

North Korea is apparently planning to test a nuclear weapon this summer. This is no good. Good thing we kept shipping them fuel oil in exchange for their promise not to develop nuclear weapons. Christ.

The Italian reporter lied, of course.

Here we go--the Italian reporter/hostage has been lying all along about the facts leading up to her getting shot and the intelligence officer who saved her getting killed.
I wonder how your local paper will cover this?

"It's a beach town, for God's sake."

Cape May, New Jersey, which I understand is quite beautiful, has lifted its ban on the man's speedo. Who wears those things? Apparently, old guys do.

Friday, April 29, 2005

"We thought it was a weapon"

But it really was an "oddly large burrito." Seriously, you can't make this stuff up.

Send in the SWAT MONKEYS!!

The rise of Anti-Americanism abroad . . .

And why it may not be such a bad thing.

Here's a taste:
The EU is well past being merely silly, as its vast complex of bureaucrats tries to control what 400 million speak, eat, and think. Its biggest concerns are three: figuring out how its nations are to keep paying billions of euros to retirees, unemployed, and assorted other entitlement recipients; how to continue to ankle-bite the United States without antagonizing it to the degree that these utopians might have to pay for their own security; and how not to depopulate itself out of existence. Europeans sold Saddam terrible arms for oil well after the first Gulf War. Democratic Israel or Taiwan means nothing to them; indeed, democracy is increasingly becoming the barometer by which to judge European hostility. Cuba, China, Iran, Hamas, Hezbollah — not all that bad; the United States, Taiwan, and Israel, not all that good. Personally, I'd rather live in a country that goes into an anguished national debate over pulling the plug on a lone woman than one that blissfully vacations on the beach oblivious to 15,000 elderly cooked to well done back in Paris.

Read it all.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Handsome Dan # 16

Yale has a new mascot -- the 16th Handsome Dan. Ole!

Pinnacles of near-perfect ignorance.

No matter what you think of him, Donald Rumsfeld can turn a phrase:
Rumsfeld leaned closer to the microphone and said, "I think the only people who could conceivably be talking about a draft are people who are speaking from pinnacles of near-perfect ignorance."

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The story that will not die--

Here is an update to the update to the updated update (see here) on Ms. Ayala, the lady who ate her Wendy's chili with some finger thrown in. She has been charged in California with trying to steal millions of dollars from Wendy's. Now, I don't really see how this charge is going to work, but who knows? California is a wild place.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

And in other news from India . . .

This one is just ridiculous. Anybody know what a "rubber tapper" is?

New and improved water with flesh chunks.

This blog is becoming a hotbed of cut-off flesh news. Sorry.

New! Chicken sandwich with (you guessed it) Finger!

So now an Arby's has served up a grilled chicken sandwich with a little something extra--and gets sued for its pains. "Scheiding said he realized something wasn't right when he bit into the sandwich on June 18 and found a piece of flesh about three-fourths of an inch long."

NRO is keepin' it real today

Even if you don't agree with the politics, you should be reading National Review Online. If you do, you will get treated to great quotes like this: "To invoke alien law when it agrees with one's own thinking, and ignore it otherwise, is not reasoned decisionmaking, but sophistry." Amen.

You will also come to understand the utter fecklessness of the UN. Read the whole thing.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Natalie Maines--annoying, and wearing ill-fitting clothes

Manolo points us to a picture of everyone's favorite dixie chick. I happen to like the dixie chicks, but Manolo is correct--it looks as if someone else tried this on for dear Natalie.

Chili with finger UPDATE to the updated update!!!

This article doesn't provide very much information, but it appears that the woman who "found" the severed finger in her chili at Wendy's has been arrested for larceny in connection with the case. Larceny of the severed digit? Sweet, sweet justice.

For those just tuning in, complete coverage here and here.

India: who knew about the condoms?

Indians use their lubricated condoms for all kinds of tasks -- they're not just wierd looking balloons anymore.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


No, really -- SWAT monkeys. It came to him in a dream . . .

The Church of Body Modification

I really, really like the moxy of this chick. I reckon I am a member of the Church of Bourbon Drinkers who Like Drinking Bourbon. Does that mean you can't fire me for showing up to work drunk?

What's mine is mine!

The city and the trails foundation may just get nailed to the wall. Bravo, Shirley!! And before you go getting all mad, remember that she owns the property--would you want folks camping out in your grandma's back yard?

UPDATE: The editorial board of the Progress appears to agree with detour Shirley. However, I fundamentally disagree that anything about the legal issues is "technical." The case surrounds an attempt by a private entity, with the assistance of the city government, to deprive this taxpayer of her property. There is nothing technical about the government stealing things.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Last one, I promise (for now)

Surgery can really, really, really suck.

Canadian police: if you are an idiot, you may die.

Yes, this will get someone's attention.

Frozen sausage breaks driver's nose

Speaks for itself.

I love Canada! It's so clean!

A dear friend of ours is living in Canada (or Soviet Canuckistan, take your pick). It appears she's there at the right time, because the government is about to collapse from its own corruption. Check it out.

There is no conceivable amount of money worth telling the world that you were beaten up by Liza Minnelli

Mark Steyn, as usual, gets right to the heart of John Bolton's nomination to be US ambassador to the UN:
As for the job Bolton's up for, what would make Barbara Boxer and Joe Biden put their hands on hips? Child sex rings run from U.N. peacekeeping operations? Sudan sitting on the Human Rights Commission while it licenses mass murder in Darfur? Kofi Annan's son doing a $30,000-a-year job but somehow having a spare quarter-million dollars to invest in a Swiss soccer club? There are tides in the affairs of men when someone has to put his hands on his hips and toss his curls. And, if the present depraved state of the U.N. isn't one of them, nothing is. Unlike most of the multilateral blatherers, John Bolton is hip to that.

Read it all, and laugh at our elected representatives. Then think about who is paying for this lunacy.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Please do not spill things on the carpet as it is not yet paid fer

Click on "pre-flight checklist" at the top. I don't really know what to think of this, except that it is funny, I don't care who you are.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Politicians lying about Social Security? Never!! has the goods on the "Social Security Calculator" that the Democratic leadership in the Senate and other groups opposed to SS reform have been using to support their claims that voluntary (!) private social security accounts are bad bad bad.

Guess what? The calculator is a complete fraud. I wonder if anyone will pay any attention to this?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Ham--the reason for the season

Check out my friend Dave's latest brainchild. Click on the "exhibits" tab, and learn more about ham than you ever needed to know. I fully intend to send him a Kite's ham, made here in old Virginia--there isn't a better country ham anywhere, in my opinion, and I grew up in Kentucky.

Those mean old people investigating my claim are interfering with the gross-out factor of my lawsuit! Dammit!

It appears that our friend who ate chili with finger (for complete and exhaustive coverage, check here) has abandoned her quest for justice because those mean investigators have stressed her out. So much for her search for the truth. It's out there, somewhere, isn't it?

More David Hasselblogging!

The Manolo loves him some Hasselhoff.

Why you got to be like that for? (Part the second)

"We're going to chain them all together," she said. "That way, if they steal one, they'll have to take all of them."

Don't steal your neighbor's dwarves -- and chopping off Snow White's head is just, well, mean.

You must be the right guy for the job . . .

If you piss off the right people. I love Kerry's quote -- he still doesn't understand, does he?

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

From our friend in Israel . . .

My neighbor is in Israel, and has been for almost a year now, with his family. He sends this interesting link, to an interesting website. Take a look -- as my neighbor says, "check out the piece on women's rights, and the piece on Bush to Muslims--you'll get the biggest blue-state/red-state whiplash you ever got in your life!!!"

UPDATE: My Israel correspondent emails me and lets me know that I am an idiot, and I misspelled "Israel" in favor of a common error. He reminds is all that "Israel" is not spelled "Isreal" because it is "UNreal." Sorry about that.

Spend Ken Lay's Money--it's fun and free!!!

From our pal at Stone, we find an interesting piece in the NYT that all but begs us to go spend Ken Lay's money. I intend to spend a couple of his dollars today. You do likewise, and then congratulate yourself for doing some good in the world.

Also, if you are a big dummy like me, you thought that the NYT committed an obvious misspelling in the headline ("Deserts" and not "Desserts")? Well, you thought wrong.

Just print the money, John--that'll cover the bills

Sen. John Cozine has said that any shortfall the Social Security Trust Fund [sic] is easily fixed by, you guessed it, just printing more money. Mr. Corzine is apparently proud enough of this brilliant plan that the article is posted on his website.

For a rundown of various economists' shocked and dismayed reponses, check out Deroy Murdock's article.

Money quote:
"I think one always should be a little worried about someone saying we should not worry about government running the printing presses," says Steve Hanke, a Johns Hopkins University professor and a Forbes columnist. "The thing that isn't being said is that the money going into the trust fund IS NOT SAVED — in capital letters. It's just a captive pool of money that the government taps into to finance general government expenditures other than Social Security."

Read both articles, and discuss amongst yourselves. Who do you believe--the Senator who thinks that the answer to insolvency is for the government to print money, or your lyin' eyes?

Saturday, April 09, 2005

"I cooked a couple of hogs out there on some bed springs once"

This gives the lie to all those bumper stickers I see around here about some village in Texas missing its idiot.

"People loved it," he said. "We called it Louisiana style."

Good news from the Empire

The new Flashman is available in the UK, and will be available in the US very soon. If you haven't read the entire collection (see here for a roundup of events covered by the papers) then you should. They are riotously funny, and worth your valuable reading time (unlike this blog--get back to work!).

The tin-foil hat fits just fine

Via Wizbang, we find that yet another US Senator has joined the ranks of the moonbats (barking ones, no less). Good lord. Better to keep one's mouth shut and have others think one is a fool, than to open one's mouth and confirm it.

UPDATE: Welcome Wizbangers!! Stick around--check out the Fortblogging.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Man shot in Kentucky

Claims it was someone else, but the cops know better.
Bramblett told police that he and the other motorist got into a shoving match and the man pulled a handgun and shot him.
Bramblett told police the incident occurred in front of a well-known dwelling commonly referred to as "the spider web house."
Bramblett said he then drove himself to OLBH, said Russell Police Cpl. Allen Woods.
Further investigation revealed that Bramblett actually shot himself at his residence, Woods said.
Police don't know why he did so, said Woods.

(caution--free registration required)

Chili with finger UPDATE!!

It appears that the Wendy's chili with finger mystery has grown more interesting. Check out the latest.

For those who do not yet know the whole story, check here.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE: Uh oh, it appears that this was a set up job-Wendy's is going all out to protect itself from the inevitable lawsuit.

UPDATE TO THE UPDATED UPDATE: It now appears that our poor finger-biting victim has a history of suing everybody in sight for everything under the sun. Imagine that.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Okay, this is the last one (for now)

Police are looking for an oversized but rather limp gorilla.

Econ prof steals the poop!

I know it must be annoying for the dear readers that I am constantly linking to stupid wire service stories, but it is just so fun. In this case, Harvard's Monrad (har dee har--say it out loud, you'll see what a mean) Professor of Economics stole his neighbor's horse manure. Excellent.

The man who represents himself in court. . .

Has a fool for a client. This fool just happens to be a more foolish fool than most.

A Pulitzer Prize winner from the hometown rag!

Check this out--a reporter formerly of the Ashland Daily Independent just won a Pulitzer Prize!!! Well done, I say.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

David Hasselblogging!

The Manolo, he steers us to this startling post. Excellent.

I'll have the Superman, please. And can you shove a hook through my Achilles tendon for good measure?

Lord there are some odd birds out there. "Leisure suspension" indeed.

Why you want to be like that for?

At long last, the Oconee County Police Blotter!
On March 31, a resident of Watson Springs Road called to say someone had come onto his property and stole a green 2004 Honda four-wheeler valued at $5,500. Also stolen was a 7mm Savage rifle and a Samurai sword, both valued at $450.

I had no idea there were samurai in Georgia. Learn something new every day.

(Caution--free registration required)

Man hit by own truck.

The title of the article really captures the spirit of the thing.

(Caution--free registration required)

UPDATE: I guess I shouldn't be so glib--the poor guy has died, and the case is being treated as a murder.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Behold the power . . .

The thieves stole ground beef, cheese, and cake from the Wayside--it appears they are preparing to have a huge tailgate party. We got a wild place around here.

Turkeys -- the next big crime wave . . .

The turkeys are out of control. Smoking, drinking, hanging out, and being a menace.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Sorry about that -- have a nice day, then.

In China, you can get convicted of murdering your wife, tortured, forced to confess, and sentenced to death. But at least when she turns up alive, the People's Republic [sic] will let you out. (Caution -- this story is a bit confusing because the man it describes is named "She" -- you will see what I mean).

If you're in the left lane, get your arse movin'!!

I wish this would start happening on I-81 in Virginia (also known as The World's Most Annoying Place to Use Cruise Control).


Take this pile of wood . . . (scroll down) Posted by Hello

FORTBLOGGING: Part the second

. . . work really hard and you get this. Your yard will become an anthill of tiny children. And it only took one good weekend of work, two weeks of waiting for the rain to stop to finish, and fourteen trips to Lowe's! Posted by Hello

Friday, April 01, 2005

Martha gets 5 months, Sandy Berger, well, does not

The controversy around Sandy Berger stuffing classified documents in his pants is getting more interesting. He has now admitted that he stole the documents, destroyed them, and did so in an effort to make the Clinton administration look better in the eyes of the 9/11 commission.

Read this and this, and prepare to shake your head.

Remember, as the emailer on Instapundit noted, Martha got 5 months in Alderson for lying to the FBI.

Someone at Yale with some sense!

This opinion piece by a junior from Yale is excellent material. Get involved, people!

Read this very long thing

Jonah Goldberg and Jonathan Chait go at it about the differences between conservatives and liberals, and the duel is extremely interesting. Read it all, but give yourself some time. I happen to fall into Jonah's camp -- see where you come down.